What Am I doing With My time?

Hi everyone! Sorry for the long wait but I really take this blog serious and ponder and pray about things I could share that can benefit all of us.  I have numerous ideas I always want to talk about but I want to think them out, study them and then present them. After having a good study sesh with the Lord I'm ready to share my new post on time.

   Time and what I am doing with my time has been a common theme since I graduated college this summer. It was a relief when I completed of stress and so many other things. All of a sudden I had all this time of course I celebrated and was lazy and then I got injured.  I enjoyed the laziness at first after being so busy with papers and homework in the previous semesters but then I had this epiphany of time goes fast and this is a rare opportunity to use my time wisely and really set goals and do things I want to do before I have kids and etc. and for those of you do have kids we can still use our time wisely and set goals to be a better mother.  So then I jumped to the other extreme of being busy and trying to do everything. For those of you who don't know me I love everything. I always have five favorites of colors, ice cream flavors, movies, my husband says then that truly isn't a favorite but it is for me. Even deciding a major it was so hard I loved music,  interior design, dance, writing what was I going to choose?

Well obviously I made a decision but I didn't kill those other passions in me in fact I'm craving to use them now with this time but even with a right goal and desire I was trying to do too many things at once.  

It reminded me of the scripture

"he [she] that is compelled in ALL things, the same is a SLOTHFUL and not a wise servant; wherefore he [she] receiveth no reward" D&C 58:26.   Talk about a scripture that was written for me! The reason I started getting all busy was from me not being proactive and slothful with my injury but apparently I hadn't progressed at all.
President Uchtdorf says about busyness  Click Here

   Wise words and I totally do this. So how do we make our time count and really choose between good, better best? President Uchtdorf says "I think of our Lord and Exemplar, Jesus Christ, and His short life among the people of Galilee and Jerusalem.  I have tried to imagine Him bustling between meetings or multitasking to get a list of urgetnt things accomplished. I can't see it.  Instead I see the compassionate and caring Son of God purposefully living each day. When He interacted with those around Him, they felt important and loved. "

So how do we purposely live each day? It is by prioritizing!  How do we prioritize? By setting goals. What do you want to accomplish every day and what means the most to you? As I have done this I have seen some amazing results.  First off I wasn't doing enough time for the Lord there is such a difference when I start my day reading my scriptures and praying. My day goes better even if it is still stressful I have the Holy Ghost with me to help and I know for you busy mommies we all could use a little extra help. 
  Then I exercise it makes me feel so much better and rejuvenated and then do the things that I planned. I strongly feel one of the biggest reasons we are here is what we do with our time. Let us all stop wasting time and using it more effectively.  I want to end talking about relationships that is where we should use our time getting to know and spend more time with our loved ones.  

So let us all stop liking and texting and give someone we love a phone call and have a great conversation or write a hand written note when was the last time you received a hand written note? They are the best! I invite us all to set some goals and really have a personal inventory of where you are spending your time and how we can spend it better or spend less time in certain areas of our lives. I know I could do better.
I hope to hear from you and hear how it goes! Be accountable and feel free to comment below what you are going to do better or less of. I will put one out there: I'm going to spend less time on social media and start living! 

for my single ladies or whoever have been single (so all of us)

Today's topic has a special place in my heart because I feel this a lesson we all need to learn, it can be a hard one and can be the hardest to learn when we are single which is living in the moment no matter the circumstance.  Even though this is mainly directed for my single ladies

I believe this can be applied to all of us.
       Being single today is a roller coaster you think you are going out with the "one" and the next thing ya know you are dumped the next day.  I remember when I was single (which was not that long ago) and the anxiety and anguish and mainly the frustration I would feel because I was ready for something bigger and I was sick of dates going nowhere.  I think being single was hard because we don't have control, bottom line no matter what we do it's Heavenly Father's plan.  I knew that but it didn't really sink in.  I would beat myself up cause of this or that and finding a ridiculous reason to blame myself that I was infected of the disease of singleness.   But then when I started dating Jake I now look back and laugh HOW SIMPLE and easy that relationship was and it wasn't some hidden secret it was because it WAS RIGHT! My dad always gave me good advice he said it will happen during the "right time, the right place, with the right person".  Which is so true it has to be all three.  There were great guys I had dated previously but it wasn't the right time, or the right place in my life.  However Jake hit all three and I realized even more how silly it was to beat myself up when I was single for being single when it just wasn't the time.
   Now some of you might be thinking well easy for you to say cause you have found him but let me say I had to learn a lot and be prepared a lot before Jake was brought into my life and one of the lessons I had to learn is. My relationship status does not define my happiness.  Let me repeat that

RELATIONSHIP STATUS DOES NOT DEFINE HAPPINESS.  Now can it improve your happiness, yes! But a place we need to all strive when we are single is being happy while being independent and on our own. I know that is not easy when we are bombarded with all the chick flicks, and our friends wedding pictures (which sorry I have not been helping) but when we do achieve this independence and self confidence I know and believe that is when amazing things begin to happen.
  I had a desire to be at this place when I was single but it was scary for me to give all my fears and control to the Lord. I am a total "manager" as my amazing mission president told me. I love to be in control and know what is happening but I had to let God have the control, which he already did, and once I yielded that amazing things happened.  I got to know myself and set fun goals and distract myself from the pressures of how many dates I had that weekend or this or that.  I did what I wanted to do.  If i didn't want to go to a party, I didn't.  If I wanted to learn something I did.  And it was when I was in this period where I wasn't stressing about my status that my status was changed. Funny how that happens, huh?

 Jake was brought into my life because I was ready for him to come into my life and had learned the lessons Heavenly Father wanted me to learn in my single life and because I put Heavenly father as my priority and not my relationship status, which was a hard path to get too.
   Now I don't share these personal stories to put myself on a pedestal and say, "look at me and my amazing example" I share it to be real and let my single friends know that I get what you are going through and maybe by sharing my experiences it can make ya feel better like, "oh mary went through that too". But enough about me let's talk about the people who are much more wiser then me....
   Just recently my ward had regional conference and it was sooo good and guess what they said?  Some amazing things that pertain to this topic.  In fact all of Elder Oaks talk was about the topic I am talking about "trusting in the Lord".
      He said "We don't have to plan EVERY event,  even IMPORTANT events.  Trust in the Lord, THEN your faith on the path of eternal life. It doesn't matter if you are single, or do not know what will happen. Do your best.  Trust in the Lord in his timing"
    I should've just put his quote for my whole entry and we could be done. Wow those are some powerful words.  Especially when he says "trust in the Lord and IN HIS TIMING".

Which can be the hardest one to do but I promise God has an individual plan for all of us and unfortunately with our Mormon culture we sometimes want to apply a generic timeline for everyone. For instance at a certain age if someone is single everyone begins to panic! But wait...don't we believe that everyone has an individual plan? Just because your best friend got married at 19 and you are still single does not mean God has neglected you.  I want to personally thank my sister Heather for being such a good example of this when she was going through a really hard time in her life she made the decisions right then and there to trust in God and enjoy her circumstance and because of that she was truly blessed and got more happiness then she could have imagined in that time of her life.
     I love the wise words of President Uchtdorf from his amazing forget-me-not talk, Link To Forget Me Not Talk "don't put your happiness on a golden ticket"

meaning don't say to yourself ," I will be happy when this happens..." the true test in life is finding happiness wherever you are!  So if you are single enjoy it. Set goals for yourself and do things that will not be that easy when you are married to do, like big time traveling. If you are married and don't have kids yet enjoy getting to know your spouse more and set goals as a couple. Whatever stage of life you are in life is too good to not be enjoyed just because you don't have x, y, or z.

 Well I will get off of my soap box but I really feel this topic is so important and pertinent to our society and for our happiness and I pray that all of us can stop feeling more sorry for ourselves because we don't have something and start looking at the things we do have because that is when life is best lived!! Let us all start having a better day today.  
With the most sincerity in my heart,
Mary Beth

 

Beauty Redefined

Have you ever compared your body to another person's body? Have you always been self-conscious? Have you ever felt you could never keep up with the media standards of beauty? Well...welcome to being a woman or a person in today's society!  Today I'm excited to share how we can view our body positive and have confidence and not rely on society's wavering standards.
             

My main source that I will use to day is  from the wonderful women Lindsay and Lexie Kite who are twins and have their PhD's and have started a nonprofit promoting positive body image called "Beauty Redefined" if you don't follow them on instagram I would recommend it, they are under "Beauty Redefined".  Just recently they came and spoke in Park City and I was able to attend and I loved what they had to offer and would love to share the info!
    The first thing the emphasized is WOMEN ARE MORE THAN BODIES! They shared some sad stats that girls who were under the age of twelve  that were hospitalized with eating disorders has INCREASED 11 % from 1999-2006.  Since they have their PhD's they had to do their dissertation and they did that buy surveying thousands of women across the wasatch front (they attend the University of Utah) about their general feelings about their bodies and satisfaction. So maybe one of you possibly took this survery!
       Anyways the results were

• 1/3 of the women were generally dissatisfied but HALF of the participants felt negatively about their bodies

With such a negative view of women on their bodies and shame though their studies Lexi and Lindsay offer four steps that will increase your view of your body image.

1.     MENTAL POWER- They said do a social media fast for 3 days. No instagram, twitter, tv, etc.  Through their studies they said "social media wrecks yourself".  Which I can confirm this too after minoring in psychology at the University of Utah I did a study and found psychologists who already performed similar studies about face book which resulted the longer time you are on face book the lower your self esteem declines.  
2. PHYSICAL POWER-there was a clear difference of a person's self esteem of the people who were active and did physical activities to people who were not as active.  Get movin! Go on a bike ride, find something that makes you happy! I love dance and zumba! 
3. SPIRITUAL POWER -They said meditate, be quiet, believing in God and giving him time will remind you of the great being he created.  
4. SOCIAL POWER- Blog about your experiences. Make a running group. Have fun

I invite you to try these steps and see which one you can work on.  Let me know how it goes! From personal experience I know this helps. Growing up I have always been unsatisfied with my body I have been confident but had a poor body image of my self ( I know that is contradicting but it's true I have always been confident but had poor body image because I would always compare my body).

 Which I love what Theodore Roosevelt said about comparison

  When looking back in high school and jr. high I had a really cute and healthy body but because I was a size four and my friends were a zero cause they were naturally tiny it was really hard on me because I had the booty and hips.  Now I believe confidence is embracing what you have. You are not always going to love everything about you all the time but if you embrace it that is when someone is truly beautiful! I have overcome my poor body image through prayer, and focusing on being healthy and not focusing on looking like so-and so and it has made quite the difference!
    With my broken foot injury it has been really hard I haven't been able to be that active and I begin to get self-conscious but then I just remember that I need to be happy I have a healthy body and it functions.
    So I invite you to start creating healthier habits of your body image and confidence because we have enough insecure women we need to create confidence among ourselves so we can raise the future women with confidence too.

-Mary Beth

I also wanted to leave you with some good quotes from celebrities on body image.

   

Purpose and Mission of real talk

Hi and thanks for joining me on my first post!  Today I would like to talk about my purpose of starting this blog and my goals of real talk.
     For the past year I have been noticing a new trend in the world which is the desire to share every aspect of our life, via instagram, twitter, etc.  From what a person had for dinner to a new shirt they purchased.  I love being part of people's lives and seeing what they are doing however the problem and pattern I have observed is as viewers we are constantly bombarded with only the good, which then creates false expectations or unrealistic views of how one's life really is.  After personal experience and with dear friends viewing so many "glamorous" lifestyles we have all shared some form of opinions that our lives weren't "good" enough.  This is where my passion and the heart of this blog comes from.  I want to reach out to anyone who has thought about their life in this way, which it is very hard not too with all the social media today.
    Life is a wonderful gift but we all know it is a roller coaster.  I hope I can present to you topics on this blog in a more REAL life and REAL experiences which definitely  include the good and fun but the hardships and sad too because when I hear someone's hardships and growing experiences  it instantly  connects me or reminds me something I have gone through which leads to a greater appreciation and understanding with that person.
   So I invite you to enjoy me on this journey as I will present to you topics that we can have a deeper discussion and look at it from all sides and not just from the filtered side. I would love for this to be interactive and get your feedback from the topics and share your opinion.  Upcoming topics I will be presenting will be true beauty and a great presentation I went too, relationships and how they do take work no matter how good your relationship, and one for my single ladies and embracing and enjoying whatever stage of life you are in!
   Much Love,
Mary Beth
P.S if there are any topics you would like to discuss too please mention it!!